So, I know that traditionally, breakup songs are all about letting your feelings out and all that jazz. BUT – I don’t believe in wallowing over lost relationships. I really believe that ‘what is meant for me won’t pass me by’, and I tend to apply that to everything in my life, including relationships. That doesn’t mean I won’t work for things, but I tend to believe that if something doesn’t work out, it just isn’t meant for me and letting it go will allow me to make space for something better.
Anyway, that brings me to my breakup playlist. I am not really the kind of person to play sad love songs after a relationship ends…except for that one time I was sitting on a plane, listening to Keith Sweat over and over, quietly crying into my hoodie. I think it’s completely OK (and an important part of the healing process) to accept your feelings and process and go through them (crying is a great way to let go of the emotions), but then it’s time to dust yourself off, raise your head up, look the universe in the eye and remember what a bad bitch you are.
So, my breakup playlist is mostly tracks that make me feel powerful and remind me what a badass I am. I like to listen to this when I am in my car (cuz singing at the top of my lungs while driving down Sheikh Zayed Road is just crazy fun and therapeutic) and I also like to play these songs out loud and dance around while I clean my space (bonus points for opening up all of my windows to clear out stagnant energy). So here we go, my favorite songs to crank up after a breakup!
Heartbreaker – Pat Benatar
You’re a heartbreaker, dream maker, love taker. Don’t you mess around with me.
You know that song you put on and kinda can’t stop yourself from jumping around and singing into your hair brush? Yeah, that.
Cities Lie In Dust – Siouxsie And The Banshees
We found you lying, we found you hiding, choking on the dirt and sand. Your former glories and all the stories dragged and washed with eager hands. But oh, your city lies in dust, my friend.
This song just always makes me feel like I’m ready to do battle. I kinda think that if Hela had a theme song, this would be it.
Frontline – Kelela
If you think I’m going back you misunderstood. Cry and talk about it baby, but it ain’t no use. See, you wasn’t looking when I pushed.
I only recently discovered the amazingness of Kelela and now I’m kind of obsessed with her. I’ve had this song on repeat for a while and it does make me feel a lot more in control of my situation.
Rebel Girl – Bikini Kill
That girl thinks she’s the queen of the neighborhood. I got new for you, she is!
My ultimate Feel Powerful track. I play this whenever I need to quickly psych myself up, and it works almost every single time. There’s a reason this song is so short, if it were any longer, Kathleen Hanna would actually have an army of women ready to takeover the world.
Kiss Off – Violent Femmes
You can all just kiss off into the air, behind my back I can see them stare. They’ll hurt me bad, but I don’t mind. They’ll hurt me bad, they do it all the time.
Ah, this song brings back all of my teenage angst. Which I think is a good thing, because sometimes you need to remember that teenage rage to light that fire again. I have entertained several passing cars by seriously getting into this one on the road.
Violet – Hole
When they get what they want, they never want it again. Go on, take everything. Take everything, I want you to.
Courtney Love is like the queen of letting your emotions take the lead. I like to channel her when I get to that point after a break up where I start to miss him, and need to remind myself how angry I actually am.
Truth Hurts- Lizzo
You’re ‘posed to hold me down, but your holding me back. And that’s the sound of me not calling you back.
Lizzo is my solution to everything, lol. Every time one of my girlfriends or I have any kind of problem, there’s the perfect Lizzo song for it. And this is the perfect breakup song; equal parts sass and strength.
New Kid – Ex Hex
You’re a new kid in town, everybody trying to knock you down. I thought it hurt when they did it to me, I just laughed and turned the other cheek. Just trying to get your kicks and no one understands you’re a warrior, warrior, warrior.
This is one of my favorite songs, it makes me feel, well, like a warrior. I listened to it a lot when I was recovering from surgery and it actually helped a lot!
Throw Down the Roses – Kate Pierson
I don’t stick around, I won’t wait around for the ending, another curtain closes. We already know there’s and ending to the show we’re making, I’m throwing down the roses.
OK, don’t judge me, but I had to google Kate to figure out she’s from the B-52s *hangs head in shame*. I heard this song on the show Good Girls (great show, great cast, great soundtrack) and had to Shazam it ASAP. It’s a super fun one to listen to when you are feeling a little less than amazing.
Django Jane – Janelle Monae
We gave you life, we gave you you birth. We gave you God, we gave you earth.
Janelle Monae is just my new superhero. I’d say that over 70% of what I have listened to this year is by Janelle Monae. This song (and video) in particular just brings out my inner feminine power. I even listen to it when I need to re-balance my energy and it’s great for reclaiming your power as a woman after a breakup.
What are your favorite songs to get you through a breakup? Lemme know, I’m sure you guys have some good ones!